As a great deal of my posts are, this was inspired by a recent conversation with a close friend. Many of my friends now have children, many more are having their second, and a few are like us- thinking about or working on baby three. (I can still considering it “working on” since she’s not here yet, right!?)
There are the standard rude comments like “was this one planned?” or of course “are you hoping for a (insert gender opposite other children)?” and the second seems to be the favorite of strangers everywhere when it’s the third child. I talked about rude things people say to parents and expecting parents alike in this post, but it’s become all that more apparent that people overstep their boundaries the further along in this pregnancy I’ve gotten.
Let me say this- we have two amazing boys that I would not trade for the world. I couldn’t imagine my life without two boys in it. The fighting, giggles, wrestlings, trucks, and dirt.. and the drama, yes boys have drama.. every bit of it is incredible. There’s something special about mommy’s boys and I already know that one day I will be overprotective of them when they date and cry some day at their weddings. There’s a bond there that I could have never imagined with my boys.
And I feel sure I will feel the same once this little girl arrives. There are so many things that will be the same about raising a girl and boys, and just that many as different. There will be new things to learn about her and ways of loving her that I can’t imagine right now. It will be awe-inspiring to see her bond with her brothers and her daddy.
But had this baby been a third boy, I would have felt the same way. Yep, you read that correctly. I wasn’t hoping for a girl, or a boy for that matter. I simply was hoping that we would be granted the chance to have a third child in our lives, one more sibling for each of the boys, and another person for us all to love.
There were times when I felt that I couldn’t even be excited that I was having a girl, for everything that she will be, because other people were more excited that it wasn’t a boy. Maybe it’s just the hormones, but that is truly how it felt.
Maybe parents who ask have forgotten what it’s like to feel your heart grow in size like the Grinch’s on Christmas- because that’s how it feels when another child, be it your second or third or tenth. Your heart doesn’t have to share space, it just doubles with the love it now holds for another child. As you see your children learn about and love each other, it continues to swell. Sometimes, it overflows. And that, is a beautiful thing.